If 2020 was about realizing that life exists in the grey, then 2021 has been about coming to terms that life exists not only beyond our limited binary thinking, but perhaps beyond our control entirely. 2021 saw waves of hope and forward movement followed by steps back. My tarot reader said something incredibly encouraging that was a useful thing to remember and come back to during this past year: chaos is creative energy. We tend to think of chaos as purely destructive, or meddling (at least I did), and this reframe really helped me find my footing once I started viewing the unexpected as a creative force.
For many of us, myself including, it’s an uncomfortable truth that there is actually very little we can control in our lives. Surrendering and trusting the process certainly doesn’t come easily for me. The greater I was able to trust, surrender, and accept that so much was out of my control, and just focus on the things I can control and my reaction to the situation, the better I was able to surf the many waves of 2021, as well as maintain a sense of hope for the future.
Personally, I am ending the year feeling grateful. It was another year of tremendous loss and grief for so many, which has put so much into perspective. I’m thankful my business survived, and I feel less urgency to do everything perfectly, to be at my 100% capacity, or to grow into all the exciting things I’d love to grow into when the time is right. That being said, I still managed to expand my team, grow my clientele, launch a new scent, branch into the tactile and sumptuous world of solid perfumes, and find creative joy, inspiration, and fulfillment in our vintage solid perfume lockets. Engaging with our community in a hands-on way, and offering special limited-edition items was a fulfilling way to stay connected.
On a personal note, I enjoyed settling into my first year of marriage with my husband, focusing on home projects to make our home even more cozy, safe, and inviting. I invested in my health, and hired a personal trainer to help me get strong to combat a chronic back injury. I’m stronger than I’ve maybe ever been, and am no longer facing the potential of a major spine surgery, which has been one of the biggest behind the scenes wins of my life! Like many of us, I found it necessary to focus on my mental health, to address anxiety, and to ask for help. I began a regular walking program, and embraced the beauty of my city on long solo walks outside. It was a year of leaning on my tools of self care more than ever (breathwork, baths, meditation, nutrition), and being ok with knowing when to just do nothing (sleeping, resting, adopting tv shows and shamelessly bingeing them, prioritizing reading and solitaire, and putting my phone away more often).
I don’t know where we are going, but I believe we are getting there a little softer, a lot more resilient, with a deeper sense of humor, and a true sense of vulnerability. I hope we can all find the ease and community required to support us, because if there’s anything I’ve learned, it’s that we can’t do it alone, and we don’t have to.
Inspiration that carried me through: